Cleanup & Translation:
liyo.a (liyo.a@proton.me)

Translator Note:
This is my first translation work. Take it easy on me.
Send request through email above.
--
v5- minor corrections.

why is this tagged oyakodon

Base +6, Beyond Imagination +6, kingbw -6, Amacar123 +6

Oyakodon, bacause of page 22 forward?

Base +7, dasdk -9, kingbw +6

That's not her daughter, do you know what oyakodon is about? Did you tl this from the spanish version?

Base +6, dasdk +9, kingbw -6, ToniHD +15

Umm yes. I do speak Japanese and did translate this. Using one of my alias. If you don't agree with the tagging, them vote it down...

Oyakodon:
A grouping of a parent and one (or more) of their children engaging in sexual activity with the same partner simultaneously.

Base +7, kingbw +6, animadversion +6, Aelth +7, ToniHD +15

Damn, not bad at all. You did your homework. That's refreshing for a first-time TL.

Few comments (mostly nitpicks) that basically boil down to QC:

1. Watch out for missing text. You've missing a lot of SFX on page 4, for example.
2. Careful about sometimes omitting stuff from your TL. Example, on page 2:

JP: 昼間から加齢臭ふりまいて脂肪押し付けてくるんじゃね～よッ // ちんこがイライラすんだよ
You: Quit spewing that old hag stench and pressing your fat against me. // My dick...
Should be closer to: Quit spewing that old hag stench and pressing your fat against me! // Look at how hard you made me!

3. You're allowed to emphasize stuttering/broken speech. Example on page 4, she's getting choked and basically saying: Ahm dyiiiinhg! Yuhr killin' meeeh!
4. You're sometimes omitting punctuation (ex: pp.5, 6.)
5. Prob get a proofreader.

Anyway, not much else to say. Keep it up.

Base +29, AntiShisno +8, PokeDude490 +6, slapforce +6, Fiko515 +6, Nagassh +6, Beyond Imagination +6, lengend +6, SCSS +18, pesc +8, Th3 Sl0th +6, OceanisYappy +2, Hane_Kuribo +8, and 21 more...

She's not fucking the guys girlfriend. There are a lot of grammar mistakes, i assume english isnt your first language. You should get your work checked by someone else before posting.

Base +6, GuroLover12 -12, Beyond Imagination +6, Hane_Kuribo -8, biscardone -8, dasdk +9, Aelth -7, Mr. Grey +6, tlflife -7, Devotus -6

I don't really have a first language per say... I live in both Japan (9 years) and in the US (20+ years).

Thanks for the notes cutegyaru.

Crowns, aren't you nick picking the exact definition of Oyakodon? But I'll make sure to try to find someone to check my work next time. Considering I'm just doing this for fun on my free time.

Base +7, Roger28 +6, Draw99Gray +18, OceanisYappy +2, Darksword696 +21, animadversion +6, breanyman +6, AntiShisno +8, Imsolo +6, demothenes +6

@Artistan
IIRC due to how the fetish slang oyakodon came about (chicken + egg in rice 'tasted' together) when used in a sexual context it will always refer to mother + daughter fucking the same man*.
I didn't even realise there was another way how the direct text of the oyakadon tag could be interpreted lol.

*Has anyone seen any yuri oyakodon?

Base +7, Chrys0k0ll +7, nemo_adams +10, rekkou +8, abrickhouse +6, Winter is Cumming +6, animadversion +6, Aelth +7

I guess I'm more used to seeing 2 blood related parent and children of the same gender doing that.
Here are some pointers on some mistakes I found
P3 "Your mom HASN'T taken a bath..."
P4 what Gyaru said about that sentence Quit spewing that old hag stench and pressing your fat against me! // Look at how hard you made me!
P6 "Being around this WOMAN..."
P7 twenty
P12 "are you smelling me"
P13 "a mere body SOAP"
P17 "we're"
P21 i don't think there's no one person..." is that a double negative?
P21 "Another woman"
P25 woman
Other than that I say you did well. not many people edit sfx and such, thanks for doing this one too, I really like this artist.

@motesolo Like 3 girls? mother x daughter x random chick?

Base +6, Nagassh +6, Beyond Imagination +6, OceanisYappy +2, Mr. Grey +6, dankestdungeon +24, NeBuR1997 +6

I may have picked a tough one to translate for my first time to be honest.
The words chosen by the author is a bit unique. It was kind of hard to make it sound "natural".

Not to mention that onomatopoeias are hard.

Man... that's a lot of mistake. I really should not be doing this waaay too late in the evening when I'm half asleep.

Base +7, PokeDude490 +6, Beyond Imagination +6, OceanisYappy +2, biscardone +8, animadversion +6, Aelth +7, Mr.Heartbeat +7, Imsolo +6

Hey, It's a good base, like I said, having this run through someone after you do all your work can help you tidy it up a bit, after all it's kinda hard when you're tired and just wanna finish something to go back in and check it again, that could help you catch some of these smaller errors.

Base +6, OceanisYappy +2, biscardone +8, Mr.Heartbeat +7, Imsolo +6

RAW : http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/g/2782406/21130a8f1d/

Base +11

better than MTL, just need to iron things out

Base +6, biscardone +8, Mr.Heartbeat +7, Imsolo +6

I LOVE HAIRY ARMPITS

Base +5, FalcoDFlint +6, TheGrayKnight +6, HUxSOLDIER +6, Kefka32 +6, Aelth -7, FenderLesPaul +6, Imsolo +6

This fucker just doesn't miss with milfs.

Base +13, Imsolo +6

Honestly the double preggo harem should be it's own release.

Base +9, gotdajuice +6, suratkabar +24, Imsolo +6, addabug +7

Obvious MTL

Base +20, Th3 Sl0th -6, EvilSanta -6, braxshinoa -6, LightSolas -17, NSFWSB -16, zxczxcasdasd -11, flash11 -27, ashkar -7, hobohobo -30, Kammo22 -6, biscardone -8, dasdk -9, and 28 more...

"Umm yes. I do speak Japanese and did translate this."
Then you would know that "めでたし" is equivalent to "And they lived happily ever after". This is an MTL, there's plenty of mistakes.

Base +11, zxczxcasdasd -11, flash11 -27, steveouniverse -8, Juhna -6, BetaCodeX -10, hobohobo -30, biscardone -8, TheGrayKnight +6, p187 -7, animadversion -6, Aelth -7, sgc_geh -11, and 13 more...

the ending is a little disappointing and rushed wish he took time to develop the whole mother/girlfriend dynamic.

Base +6, gotdajuice +6, Beyond Imagination +6

Turns out I was thinking of a different story from the same artist.

Base +6

page 22 needs better cleanup. all the original text and sfx are still visible. fixed rather fast. nice!

aside of that, the editing looks good for a first time job. typo corrections are obviously needed. proofreading can be done by yourself on the fly if you don't rush your typing.

looking forward to your next work. cheers!

Last edited on 13 March 2024, 16:50.

Base +22

機械で翻訳したわけないだろう。中学校の頃からに日本にすんでたから日本語は結構はなせるほうなんだよ。
Not MTL, just my first time translating. My bad if my choice of words isn't up to your standard @greengrasstree, @philoer.

I chose the word "Congrats" as I felt "Happily ever after" a out of place. So rather it was a "Congrats, *they are happy, they had the kids*".

Base +7, biscardone +8, animadversion +6, Darksword696 +21, Mr.Heartbeat +7, Imsolo +6

@Artistan
Don't pay too much mind to what greengrasstree and his ilk say. he's projecting:
http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/?f_search=uploader:greengrasstree+%22rough+translation%22
/img/e-hentai/nxe99v.png

cutegyaru actually knows what they're talking about.

Base +48, biscardone +8, Th3 Sl0th +6, animadversion +6, Darksword696 +21, sgc_geh +11, suratkabar +24, hentai1hunter2 +16, Mr.Heartbeat +7, virtutum +6, SkitZoFrenic +11, AntiShisno +8, Gh1 +7, and 2 more...

Thanks, Scumbini.
Just don't like being accused of MTL when I am fluent at Japanese. It's a bit insulting. lol.

Base +7, biscardone +8, animadversion +6, Darksword696 +21, Mr.Heartbeat +7, SkitZoFrenic +11, AntiShisno +8, Imsolo +6

@Artistan
You should check your forum DMs.

Also, greengrasstree is a known MTLer. Probably the last person's opinion you should ever care for.

Base +29, flash11 +27, biscardone +8, CorpsmanMcLovin +6, Th3 Sl0th +6, animadversion +6, sgc_geh +11, kamisking +6, Mr.Heartbeat +7, virtutum +6, AntiShisno +8, Gh1 +7, Imsolo +6, and 5 more...

I think I'll translate this myself

Base +20, Kudoshd1 -8, flash11 -27, ShadowOfAshura -8, Teh_Red_Guy -12, CorpsmanMcLovin +6, Th3 Sl0th -6, animadversion -6, Aelth -7, slapforce -6, biscardone -8, orangedew -7, Darksword696 -21, and 17 more...

@Artistan, if this is your first translation, then you're going to be successful in the future. when I read this issue after reading the first 2 parts, it flowed great in my head. You have done an amazing job.

Also, in your opinion what would be the best plan to learning Japanese.

Base +6

@Wubstep

Thanks!

The fastest way to learn any language is really to get immersed. It's not practical, but I learned Japanese by being in Japan not knowing a word of Japanese; you learn real fast in this case.

I think start with the written portion - Hiragan and Katakana. While doing this practice the pronunciation of each of the characters. Since every character is pretty much tied to the basic vowel, getting the A, I, U, E, O right will help with the pronunciation of rest.

You don't really need to sit down and try to memorize all the "Basic" Kanjis. I learned by learning new Kanjis I encounter and then memorizing it.

Try to read some begginers (lower grade-school level) Japanese books. Watch shows without subtitle.

I don't know - I guess exposure is key?

Base +7, flash11 +27, animadversion +6, Darksword696 +21, breanyman +6, Mr.Heartbeat +7, Th3 Sl0th +6, AntiShisno +8, Imsolo +6, xino +6

@greengrasstree

You accuse this work of being an MTL while doing MTL yourself. Respectfully, fuck off.

Base +6, Mr.Heartbeat +7, braxshinoa +6, steveouniverse +8, Vivi1993 +22, virtutum +6, AntiShisno +8, Imsolo +6, vodkaforeveryone +6, Spooky Ghost Butts +8, Vanguard3125 +6

How can you say you love her if you won't even fuck her armpit?

Base +6

>"Two hours later - both delivered the baby"

Oh what come on now Kawaisaw I would've loved to see these ladies getting fucked to birth as a sequel doujin now, how disappointing

Base +6, Imsolo +6, NeBuR1997 +6

Shinzo Abe approves

Base +6, Imsolo +6

@cutegyaru
No no no, don't emphasize broken English or accents, it almost always looks like crap. "Ahm dyiiiinhg! Yuhr killin' meeeh!" does not look good. Adding extra eee:s and aaaa:s is permissible in really warped text like say Kawahagitei, but does h:s have nothing to do there.

Base +6, Beyond Imagination +6, AntiShisno -8, archmancer8 +6

Seeing a guy getting an instant orgasm from his mom burping into his ear while smelling like alcohol is a first for me. Truly a manga for cultured people

Base +15, Beyond Imagination +6, NeBuR1997 +6

beautiful plump and hairy madams

Base +5, NeBuR1997 +6

"I'm a native Japanese speaker. Also, watch me update this three times to hide my mistakes"

Base +20, slapforce -6, euhavgnolyf -6, biscardone -8, Eirudey -5, ShadowOfAshura -8

@greengrasstree
More projection, huh?

http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/g/2806134/4da0561695/?hc=1 Lookie here, 5 updates that drastically change the meanings of bubbles, and plenty of people calling you out in the comments!
http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/g/2311266/fe13950d1c/ Lookie here, 7 updates that drastically change the meanings of bubbles, and plenty of people calling you out in the comments!

Meanwhile, over here the meaning of things hasn't really changed. Typos and grammar were fixed, phrasing was tweaked, some of the editing was changed, etc. All general improvements in response to feedback and people that want to lend a hand to a new translator.

Because unlike you, Artistan has some fucking humility. He knows this is his first translation/editing job and there's plenty of room for him to grow in the medium. This enables him to to something that must sound WILD to you. He can actually take constructive criticism and advice from others and use it to do something called "improving". Look it up, I'm sure it's a foreign concept to you since you continue to put out the same content, made the same lazy way, with the same mistakes as you always have.

Base +48, Gh1 +7, biscardone +8, ShadowOfAshura +8