sorry if it's not perfect, i did my best
it's my first translation.

Oh boy here we go again! 😔

Base +6, kawaharai -14, MC Arisato +6

I'm not sure if I'm gonna finish looking over the rest of it yet, but FYI there might be some more rough grammar/TLs to sort out
this is just from the first 3 panels on the first page:

002
OG: 連日自慰行為に耽る様子をアパート大家に盗撮され
TL: "The landlord of her apartment filmed her masturbating everyday"
ED: "secretly filmed" -- this may be considered a nitpick but it seems like an important detail imo

OG: 動画を削除する代わりに一方的な肉体関係を結ばされる
TL: "He tied her to a physical relationship to the promise of deleting the video."
ED: "In exchange for deleting the videos, she was forced into a one-sided sexual relationship"

OG: 一度は解放され平穏な日々を取り戻したものの
TL: "Once liberated of blackmail, although she regained her freedom."
ED: along the lines of "She was freed from the blackmail once and returned to her peaceful life". It's unclear what you were intending because of the weird grammar but just FYI the "once" here means "one time" rather than "as soon as" (she was already freed on one occasion and returned to her normal life before she decided to go back to him)

OG: 身体に刻み込まれた快楽により天音自ら関係を再開してしまう
TL: "By the pleasure engraved in her body. Amane by herself resumes the relationship with the old man"
ED: "But the pleasure carved into her body caused Amane/her to resume the relationship herself"

Base +18, Mandraken +6, Orion9137 +11, kidzir +6, cybeast93 +19, Moof22 +7, Shurikensei +10, MorallyBankrupt -6, your_name +6

I doubt the boyfriend will do anything. He will probably be your bog-standard character who jerks off to his significant other getting railed by another dude.

Last edited on 15 October 2022, 21:09.

Base +7, Mandraken +6, blakkbarrel +6, corruptedcode +7, your_name +6

thanks rsx205 i'm gonna try to update that

i'm not a native speaker so the grammar can be terrible, i will try to edit all of the mistakes

Base +4, Orion9137 +11, LeisureLarry -8

Besides the obviously ESL English, here's a bunch of other issues to keep in mind in the future:

1. You used the wrong 1280x downsized resolution. Download the archive or download the non-downsized torrent (right side.)
2. Your fonts are fine, but your typesetting needs a lot of work. Your text is either too high, too big, too small, or too close to the edges. Guides below.
3. Make sure you line up the ASCII hearts/musical notes with the text. Leaving them out in their original JP position makes your bubbles look very disjointed.
4. TL wise: I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you didn't machine translate this. Regardless, don't follow JP structure and phrases 1:1. Doing so always results in stilted, mostly erroneous translations (hell, that's what MTL does.) Translating means 1) conveying the original tone and intent correctly, but also 2) making it sound natural in the target language.
5. Careful about punctuation. You often omit spaces, commas, ?, and !.

Guides to help you:

General resources: https://gplinks.co/xb9Ut
Typesetting: https://ouo.io/sIF14v
Redrawing: https://gplinks.co/cwMt
Basic cleaning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PANrCwHy630

Base +17, OMJay +6, Moof22 +7, thondam +6, Shurikensei +10, MC Arisato +6, wowz098 +10, Xiroam +10

yeah I haven't read past the first page but there are probably a lot more corrections that need to be made
for example I just looked at the top of the very next page

003
OG: おーい天音ちゃんってばー
TL: "Hmm it smells good"
ED: "Hey, [I said] Amane-chan!" you just rewrote the line I guess

---

alright this isn't comprehensive by any means and I didn't even get to the halfway point, but it should give you an idea of what needs to get fixed in general. you mixed up the speaker, mixed up tenses, or just made things up pretty often

004
OG: ラブホの一件以来再びおじさんの家に通うようになった私
TL: "After the trip she started to go to the old man house again and again..."
ED: "After the love hotel incident, I've been frequenting Ojisan's house again" TL Ojisan however you want, I just left it as is for this comment

OG: 自らおじさんを求め膣内出しを許したあの日を境に
TL: "After that day she asked the old man to fucke her raw everytime."
ED: "Ever since that day I sought after Ojisan and allowed him to cum inside me willingly"

OG: 私の中で何かが変わってしまった
TL: "Something has changed in her."
ED: "Something changed within me"

005
OG: 「先に約束したから」なんてひどい建前
TL: "Cheating on my boyfriend with this old man..."
ED: this line is some self commentary on the difference between her outward intention (fulfilling a prior promise) vs inner desires (cheating)-- along the lines of "Under the awful pretense of fulfilling an earlier promise..."

OG: 昼間はゆっくり観光させてよ / えっちなら夜にいくらでも…
TL: "I don't care how much it costs..." / "If you want to fuck let's do it tonight" / "But for now let me see the sight."
ED: "Let's take our time sightseeing during the day" / "We can have as much sex as we want at night..."

006
OG: 真剣に選んでくれるおじさんも悪くな…
TL: "You have chosen well old man. I like this dress too..."
ED: "Having Ojisan sincerely pick things out for me isn't so bad..."

OG: って私何比べて…ッ
TL: "...God, what am I thinking..."
ED: "Wait why am I comparing them..."

007
OG: おかげですっかりおまんこトロトロじゃない♪
TL: "But this pussy belongs to me."
ED: "Thanks to them, your pussy is completely soaked♪"

OG: こんな巨乳JKがワキと横乳晒してるんだもんねぇ！
TL: "I've never seen such big tits in my life!!!"
ED: "A high school girl with such big breasts exposing her armpits and sideboob!"

OG: そりゃオス達の視線総占めしちゃうよねぇ！
TL: "That's right. I'm sure you'll get all the male attention!"
ED: "Of course you'd capture the attention of all the males!"

OG: 一日中すけべ私服着たおっぱいが隣に居て
TL: "Fucking you in youur sexy dress in the middle of the night!"
ED: "Your boobs were right next to me behind those slutty clothes for the entire day"

008
OG: くっほぉッこのはみ出た横乳！！ / 背中から見るとまた格別にすけべだ♪
TL: "Watching your boobls bouncing from the back like that! It feels so erotic!!!"
ED: "Kuhohh, the way your sideboob sticks out!" / "It's even lewder when you see them from behind ♪"

OG: これがまだJKだなんて他の観光客は夢にも思わないだろうねぇ！
TL: "Other men wouuldn't even imagine they could fuck a sexy schoolgirl like you!"
ED: along the lines of "Not even in their dreams would other tourists believe that you're still a high school girl!"

OG: ずるいな彼氏くんは天音ちゃんに想われてさぁ
TL: "Amane-chan your boyfriend is so sneaky..."
ED: he's lamenting how it's unfair that she still thinks about her boyfriend

009
OG: 嫌われたっておまんこ篭絡で娶ってやる…っ
TL: "I will make you love me..."
ED: missing detail about how he'll achieve this through her pussy

OG: いいよおじさんッ今は全部受け止めてあげる…っ♥
TL: "Ok old man. I'll give you everything now"
ED: "Go ahead Ojisan, I'll take it all in...♥" (related to the next edit)

010
OG: え…そんな外出し…っ！？
TL: "Oh, no... so much sperm..."
ED: Eh...no way, he came outside...!?

OG: ぬほほその私服にぶっかけたいと思っててねぇ
TL: "Sorry Amane-chan, I wanted to cum all over you so badly"
ED: specifically on her casual clothes

011
OG: 最高のシチュで続きしようねぇ
TL: "Let's continue in this beautiful place"
ED: the gist is he wants to continue on with this amazing series of events ("situation")

OG: 早くちんぽ欲しくてたまらないの？TL:
TL: "I can't wait to put my dick in you, is that ok?"
ED: "You want my dick that badly?"

Last edited on 08 October 2022, 01:52.

Base +18, AlephFish +16, cybeast93 +19, Moof22 +7, Shurikensei +10, MC Arisato +6, Daruna +11

You can easily tell here the author regretted making it NTR and make it go full vanilla in this chapter.

Base +18, goni09 +7, UnlimitedBlades +6, MelmothTheWanderer -30, Ethereal_Heart -6, koroko -6

Font sucks... It didn't need to be italicized

Base +6

This censorship is a crime against humanity.

Base +6, KuuhakuShiro +6