My second English translation project. Feels free to give me suggestion.

Edit1: Thank you for your precious edition, wavedash. I just know that Comic Sans is not a good font to be used. About my English skill also, I know I have a long way to go. TT_TT

Kotori =DD

Base +8

Grammar _._

Hate the first pages too.

Base +6, FuwaFuwariFuwaFuwaru +4, Gui Cogo +14, AnimeLov3rxXx +10, Psyche-chan99 +4, richkid518 +8, Britannia991 +5, Kuroganemaru +7, Amodelsino +7, wawa1411 +7, The Naughty Shrink +10, sanclr +5

wondering why did kotori didn't just destroy anything there :3

Base +12, Slartibartfast +10, ENHfaithful +5, Gui Cogo +14

Comic Sans is meant to be used in all capital letters. Lowercase Comic Sans is notoriously bad. Try something like Wild Words or Anime Ace instead. Other than that, you really should get an editor, or a better editor.

Page 2:
He's the cause / that makes the spirits appear, isn't he?
He's causing / the spirits to appear, isn't he?

Page 3:
Sorry, but this is what we agreed.
Sorry, but this is what we agreed upon.

It's what I have braced up.
?

Oh, the one who will take action is not me.
Oh, I will not be taking part.

Page 4:
Font change?

I was curious about spirit's bodies.
I was curious about spirits' bodies.

If it likes this, I think I can use it at my heart content.
If it likes this, I think I may be able to use it to my heart's content.

Is this all you have braced up?
?

Page 5:
Your job is not only the taking care of the target's situations
Your job is not only taking care of the "targets"

but also the preparation of yourself for the commander's position.
but also preparing yourself to take the commander's position.

Base +10, mickl3 +9, Dragoonlord +10, shiggy +11, Kuroganemaru +7, fappingfury +7, zibtam +4

If I was Kotori's Onii-chan, I use Halvanhelev to blast those bunch of jackass to smithereens!!!

Base +4

Even if the grammar is a little bad, it's great to see an actual translation, much appreciated

Base +2, bburdo +2

@Wavedash A tad late, but for the sake of grammar I must say you are wrong about at least one thing.
"I was curious about spirits' bodies" -- is correct. "Spirits' ", s' is used with plurals, if "spirits" was "spirit", it would be "spirit's". If it was singular and not plural, the sentence would actually be : "I was curious about a spirit's body" or something of the same nature.

Anyhoo.
The story here was pretty weak, the rape or 'forced' scene was pretty off key as it served no purpose to offset or incentive the vanilla sex scene which came afterwards.
She was raped, and then had lovey-dovey sex.
How the fuck does that even make any sense?

Base +5