Finally. Thank you!

Base +6, PsychicDoom -6, Sylphvine -6, locktory -6

KI MI
NO
NA
HA

get the fuck outta here you mtl bastard

Base +7, asaxplayer +18, Tsutiya +6, SupaDupaMan2 +9, suratkabar +24, Fofotron +16, Arienai~ +8, Sylphvine +6, as102 +13, infstra +6

Looks like he's gonna go the "happy" ending route lol

Base +10, dislikedpeace +8, likeyouknowwhatever +6, PsychicDoom -6, Fofotron +16, mad_savior +7

004
OG: またいっちゃう～
TL: "That's it...Come for me!"
ED: wrong speaker

005
OG: あっ～
TL: Coming!!
ED: this is just a moan

008
OG: 最後にまたこっちを使ってやろう
TL: "Hah...I finally got your asshole too"
ED: this is made up. he's talking about using her pussy to finish things off

009
OG: さらに感度が増したようだな？
TL: "I don't think I've ever felt this good fucking someone"
ED: this is made up. he's talking about her sensitivity

OG: そろそろ効き目もピークか
TL: "Ah! I'm getting close to my peak..."
ED: this is made up. he's saying the effects are gonna peak

OG: 可愛い女の子が出しちゃいけない声が出ているぞ？
TL: "Quite the lewd noises...coming from a former shrine maiden"
ED: he makes no reference to her old job

010
OG: おおッ
TL: "hug"
ED: this is a moan

011
OG: ああ
TL: "Luv..yuu"
ED: this is just a moan

012
OG: 親父にかけあってみるか．．．
TL: "I'll see if I can get in touch with Grandpa by then"
ED: he's talking about his own dad

014
OG: 今は走って体鍛えてました
TL: "I though tit'd be too awkward to go back, so I've just...been enjoying the rain here
ED: he's been running to train his body

015
OG: 落ち着けるバーにでも二人で行って酔わせて．．．
TL: "Well whatever, let's just head to a bar to close out the night"
ED: he's talking about how Taki could've gotten the girl drunk at a quiet bar

OG: お持ち帰りしちゃえばいい相手もそのつもりだったろ
TL: "I can drop you off home afterwards"
ED: this is about having intentions of taking the girl home

OG: ってまあお前はまだ未成年だしそこまで求めるのは酷か
TL: "Oh wait, you're still below drinking age, right?
ED: missing detail, he's saying that would've been too much to ask of Taki since he's still a minor

etc

pretty heavy on the rewrites

Base +38, chikoritaex +6, pesc +8, OnceForAll +45, Mastemo +9, Sylphvine +6, mindfaQ +9, as102 +13, infstra +6, Fofotron +16, whr86 +16

Well why else do you think I said it was amateur work? I still want the guys who did the other translations to come back and make this version obsolete.

Base +1, shockroach -6, bonzaimonkey -14, banita -6, Mastemo -9, as102 -13, Fofotron -16, whr86 -16, MrSleeping +6

If you know it's garbage don't post it

Base +7, Fofotron +16, whr86 +16, MrSleeping -6