Book was sniped and desecrated last year by some idiot who, even after multiple revisions, their result is STILL shit. So I said, "We gotta do Gar justice. If we're gonna fix this, it's gotta be the best-most definitive-remastered-arcade-champion edition book ever."

Thank you so much cutegyaru and crimsonraes for going along with my crazy idea.

RAW: HERE thanks to hobohobo

Please Support the original author
Author Links
hoohttps://www.pixiv.net/en/users/6654506
https://ouo.io/3dsm7Vz
https://mememenome.fanbox.cc/

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Contact
https://oko.sh/0kgJ44Os
https://link.cutpaidad.com/P4y1
ryuugatranslates@proton.me
Ryuuga#9058

I can fix her (I don't want her fixed)

Base +16, randomdudek +7, FalcoDFlint +6, Soldier A +6

He got a suck and a fuck? Lucky kid.

And here I thought Juri's usual idea of "special training" was stepping on cocks with her bare feet and sitting on the faces of her disciples.

Base +28, openminded20 +6, FalcoDFlint +6, Soldier A +6, elefat224 +7

@RyuugaW thank you for giving us the Super Turbo version!

Base +16, AirMaster +7, RyuugaW +12, elefat224 +7

I can make her worse

Base +6

lol your translation isn't any better at all, all you did was embellish the way they spoke to suit your own tastes and I'm pretty sure you mistranslated a few lines altogether.

Bruh, you're literally the SAME dude who mistranslated the title of Gar's previous Juri doujin: http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/g/2331116/1f00fd0a01/

A masseuse is a FEMALE massage therapist. Juri only got fucked by a male massage therapist here; that's a masseur. And you wanna talk about shit translations?

Base +20, lewdhev -6, Overheated -15, hibarichrome -7, Manfred60 -6, ganna87 +6

@greengrasstree
Wow. You really are shameless. A machine translator who doesn't understand Japanese and who keeps getting exposed every time he posts something has the gall to say this is "mistranslated".

Please, go ahead and point out the mistranslations. I'll wait.

Also, you're fucking stupid. "Masseuse" can refer to a male, too (albeit it is rarer). You think French grammatical rules apply to loanwords in English, you absolute buffoon? Keep embarrassing yourself.

tl;dr: Your TLs are shit. You're an idiot.

Base +29, Speed Racer +7, FullestDay +26, lewdhev +6, Overheated +15, hibarichrome +7, ganna87 -6

@cutegyaru: Masseuse does not refer to a male massage therapist, LOL:
https://ouo.io/v1oEuQ
https://ouo.io/ONISLI
https://ouo.io/MdWtim
https://ouo.io/r0hZ0P
https://clk.sh/N20DpMin
https://ouo.io/eH4R1i

Did you just google "masseuse" and go by what Merriam Webster said? I'll take Cambridge and Oxford over a shitty free dictionary that anyone can edit. The fact that it's rare for a man to be called a masseuse should clue you in that it's not actually correct for a man to be called one. They would be called masseurs:
https://ouo.io/pn617A
https://ouo.io/QBhXBq
https://clk.sh/sqhs
https://oko.sh/eiKzwU
https://link.cutpaidad.com/mAUfL
https://ouo.io/X5Lz3

Everyone knows this:
https://ouo.io/O4Kyxn
https://ouo.io/0bHEHfl
https://oko.sh/1owmtQ
https://elii.cc/sobmgz
https://ouo.io/8oiCZb

The thing is that most massage therapists are female and it's seen as a feminine occupation, so you're not as likely to come across a male massage therapist. As a result, some people started calling the relatively few male massage therapists "masseuses" because they didn't know what the proper term for them was. Doesn't make it any less correct, though. Nowadays, both "masseur" and "masseuse" are falling out of use due to their sexual connotations, anyway. So, if "masseuse" is rarely used for women now, why would you expect to see it used for a man? Get real. You might be an expert in Japanese, but definitely not English.

----

Anyway, my plainer but more accurate translation: http://dl.hentaiknight.work/?l=e-hentai/g/2698022/cbb1f17a95/

First, I'd like to point out that the title is ジュリ師匠に特訓してもらう本 (Juri Shishou ni Tokkun Shite Morau Hon); that translates to "A Book About Special Training from Teacher Juri". I opted to just leave the title in Japanese for my translation because I felt it sounded boring in English. You translate it as "Special Training with Master Juri", which leaves out the fact that it's a book (and I personally wouldn't use "master" for females, but w/e). Small change, but y'all always grill me for even the most minuscule of changes or mistakes I make in my other translations.

Page 3: こんぐらいでへばってんじゃねぇよ! (Kon gurai de hebatten jane~e yo!)
Ryuuga: Seriously, that all you got?
Mine: Geez ... don't give up over something like this!

She wasn't asking if that was all he had (or any question, for that matter). She was just telling him not to give up. Just think, why would he be telling her "thank you very much" if she was asking him "is that all you got?" Clearly, you wanted to embellish what Juri said to suit your liking without checking to see if it made sense in their conversation. As a result, you mistranslated it.

Page 3: ま、アタシは優しいから (Ma, atashi wa yasashīkara)
もう少し付き合ってやっても... (mousukoshi tsukiatte yatte mo...)
Ryuuga: "But, if you really insist, guess I could go for another round. Cuz I'm nice like that"
Mine: "Well, since I'm a nice person, I'd be glad to hang out with you a little longer"

She was just saying that it was fine for them to spend a little more time with each other because she considers herself to be a nice or kind person. You tried to make her sound more hip with slang, but her saying "I could go for another round" makes no sense because "another round" would only refer to fighting as that is what they were just doing. She wasn't talking about fighting; she simply said they could hang out a little longer, hinting at sex.

Page 4: スマホ (Sumaho)
Ryuuga: Phone
Mine: Smartphone

He's specifically using a smartphone, not just a phone. "Sumaho" is Japanese slang for smartphones.

Page 4: ちょっとッラ貸せ特別特訓してやンよ (Chotto rra kase tokubetsu tokkun shite yan yo)
Ryuuga: C'mere, chump. I'll give you some special training.
Mine: Give me just a little bit of your time ... and I'll give you some special training.

She wasn't calling him a chump or anything at all. She was just saying that if he spends a little more time with her, she'll give him special training. You embellished what she said to make her sound more playfully teasing.

Page 5: ああ? 特訓だよ特訓! (Aa? Tokkunda yo tokkun!)
Ryuuga: Whadja think, dummy? I'm training ya!
Mine: What? It's special training, duh!

She didn't call him a dummy or anything and she specifically says "special training", not just training. Again, you embellished what she said to make her sound more playfully teasing.

Page 6: ザコのクセに 結構いいモノもってんじゃン (Zako no kuse ni kekkou ii mono mottenjan)
Ryuuga: Mighty cock for such a li'l wimp.
Mine: You got some nice stuff for a loser.

Although we know by the context that she was talking about his penis, she didn't explicitly mention his penis here as she was talking vaguely. She didn't say his penis was anything like "mighty" or great; she just said it was pretty nice or pretty good. I'm pretty sure that calling something "pretty good" isn't the same thing as calling it incredible or great, although some people debate about it: https://oko.sh/1owmtQ

I simply went with "nice" instead of "pretty nice" because I felt it conveyed the same thing (what's the difference between "you're good" and "you're pretty good", really?). Even if I technically made a mistake, I'm pretty sure she'd be saying "subarashii" or "sugoi" if she was actually saying that his penis was something like incredible, great, fantastic, etc. Also, she was just calling him a loser, or someone of low social standing; "little wimp" is an embellishment.

Page 9: ば——か (Bakaaa)
Ryuuga: Dumbass.
Mine: Stupid.

"Baka" obviously means stupid and the like, but I don't think it's quite the same as calling someone a curse word like "dumbass". Wouldn't 薄のろ (usunoro) be Japan's equivalent to dumbass? "Baka" is too simple to be translated as "dumbass".

Page 9: もう無理ですってッラしてんな? (もう無理です〜ってッラしてんな?)
Ryuuga: Bouta bust?
Mine: Are you thinking that you can't take it anymore?

She didn't explicitly mention him ejaculating. She was just asking him if he was at his limit.

Page 10: いいぜ? (Iize?)
Ryuuga: Fiiine.
Mine: How about this?

She's asking him if this (her opening her mouth for him to nut inside of it) is fine, hence the question mark.

Page 11: 結局ロだけってか? (Kekkyoku ro dake tte ka? 雑魚チンポが)
Ryuuga: That's all you can handle, wimp? One tiny blowjob?
Mine: So, in the end, I only had to use my mouth? What a small-fry cock.

She didn't call him a wimp; she was specifically dissing his penis for seemingly not being able to handle more than a blowjob. And she didn't specifically say "blowjob"; she just mentioned her mouth.

Page 12: まだヤる気みてぇだなぁ? (Mada yaru ki mite~eda naa?)
Ryuuga: Yeah, looks like you're still rarin' to go.
Mine: So, you still want to fuck me?

She's pointing out that it looks like he still wants to fuck her, so "Rarin' to go" is too vague. But to be fair, my translation doesn't make it clear that she's only speaking on what's apparent. The best translation would have been "Looks like you still want to fuck me, huh?"

Page 14: 気ィ抜くんじゃねーぞ
オラっもっと腰つかえ (Ki ~i nuku nja ne ̄ zo
Ora mmotto koshi tsukae)
Ryuuga: Don't slow down now, wimp. Fuck me like you mean it!
Mine: Don't let your guard down. Grab on to my waist!

She didn't call him a wimp or not to slow down. She specifically told him to grab her waist or hips. But I made a mistake here, too; she didn't tell him not to drop his guard. She was simply telling him not to get distracted.

Page 14: っハイッ! (Hhai~tsu!)
Ryuuga: Yes!
Mine: Yes, ma'am!

Yeah, "ma'am" was an embellishment I threw in. It wasn't needed, but it's nowhere near as problematic as all your embellishments that changed the meaning of the lines.

Page 15: 腰止めんな.
そのままもっとトばしてけっ! (Koshi tomen na.
Sonomama motto to ba shite ke~tsu!)
Ryuuga: Don't stop thrusting. Come on, pick up the pace!
Mine: Don't stop your hips. Keep going and stretch them out more!

She was telling him to keep moving his hips and stretch them further. She wasn't telling him to go faster but to stretch his hips further out so he could fuck her deeper.

Page 16: もう少しでイイところ当たりそ... (Mousukoshide ii tokoro atari-so...)
Ryuuga: A little more, and I'll ...
Mine: A little more, and he'll be hitting my g-spot ...

She was saying that he was close to hitting the right spot. Pretty sure that refers to the g-spot. She wasn't saying that she was close to cumming.

Page 16: ああ？(Aa?)
Ryuuga: Really now?
Mine: Aah?

She was just saying "Huh?", "Eh?", "What?" or "Aah?" in response him to saying that he was about to cum.

Page 17: たらしねェなぁ? (Tarashi nē nā?)
まだまだいけんだろ? (Madamada ike ndaro?)
Ryuuga: You're pathetic! I'm sure y'can hold it in!
Mine: You're really sloppy, aren't you? Can't you keep going?

She didn't say she was sure that he could hold anything in. She just asked, "can't you keep going?" But she wasn't calling him sloppy, so my bad; what she actually said was "what's the matter with you?" or "you're something else, aren't you?"

Page 20: イけっ! (I ke~tsu!)
Ryuuga: Do it! Cum!
Mine: N/A

Yeah, I didn't translate this part lol my b

Page 21: 後日 (Gojitsu)
Ryuuga: The next day.
Mine: Later.

後日 just means "at a later date", "in the future" or just "later". It doesn't mean "the next day".

Page 21: 流石です! (Sasugadesu!)
Ryuuga: You're amazing!
Mine: Just as I'd expect from you!

"Sasugadesu" just means "as I'd expect", not "you're amazing".

So, there you have it. My translation wasn't perfect, but yours isn't better when you make all these redundant embellishments and changes, many of which alter the meaning of what the characters say. I'm pretty sure that qualifies as "rewrite", actually.

Last edited on 21 January 2024, 00:16.

Base +20, Manfred60 -6, legoman1 -7, ganna87 +6

@greengrasstree cope

Base +11

Okay.

I'm not gonna go through your entire wall of text because the first examples you've given are wrong. I'm gonna assume the rest of your novel is just as incorrect.

>which leaves out the fact that it's a book
Extremely common to use 本 in Japanese. Extremely uncommon to leave it in English. Not a mistranslation to leave it out.

>She wasn't asking if that was all he had (or any question, for that matter). She was just telling him not to give up. Just think, why would he be telling her "thank you very much" if she was asking him "is that all you got?" Clearly, you wanted to embellish what Juri said to suit your liking without checking to see if it made sense in their conversation. As a result, you mistranslated it.
You're such a massive ESL you're incapable of comprehending tone. Juri isn't politely telling him to not give up. She's absolutely teasing him. The casual form the sentence is structured (including Juri's personality??) kinda give it away. Not a mistranslation.

>He's specifically using a smartphone, not just a phone. "Sumaho" is Japanese slang for smartphones.
ESL moment. Nobody says "smartphone" in English-speaking countries lmao Everyone fucking knows "phone" = "smartphone" you genius. Not a mistranslation.

>"Baka" obviously means stupid and the like, but I don't think it's quite the same as calling someone a curse word like "dumbass". Wouldn't 薄のろ (usunoro) be Japan's equivalent to dumbass? "Baka" is too simple to be translated as "dumbass".
Another ESL moment. Completely interchangeable terms. Not a mistranslation to use either. Dumbass captures Juri's overall tone and personality better, though.

>She wasn't calling him a chump or anything at all. She was just saying that if he spends a little more time with her, she'll give him special training. You embellished what she said to make her sound more playfully teasing.
Your translation (again) ignores tone and the extremely casual forms Juri uses. Not a mistranslation to capture these elements.

>She didn't explicitly mention him ejaculating. She was just asking him if he was at his limit.
It's extremely explicitly referring to ejaculation. もう無理 is probably the most overused language trope in Japanese when referring to being just about to orgasm. Not a mistranslation.

Wow, would you look at that. Nothing you said so far qualifies as mistranslations.

Every time I engage with you, you're wrong. Maybe I should go back to your other galleries and tag those too. Maybe you also want me to pull the forum DMs of you practically begging me to proofread your MTL scripts too?

I'm not gonna respond to you any further.

(Oh, and masseuse can still be used for males. Sorry you can't accept that.)

Base +29

at least both TLs are readable
though one is more refined and legible than the other

Base +5