This seems to have a lot of the same issues your other comics have. I can only strongly recommend taking a few creative writing classes or at least reading some guides. When you do, a lot of the issues will become glaringly obvious to you.
Thank you for checking out my other comics as well. Indeed, creative writing (or writing in general) is my biggest weakness. I have struggled with it all my life and I'm not sure I can improve but I'm certainly trying (though apparently mostly failing).
You can check Brandon Sanderson's creative writing course from BYU on his youtube channel, for example. It was quite engaging (even though i'm not a writer).