sorry for being late!

RAW: http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/g/2442359/a0fac828a2/
CHN: http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/g/2453037/7952220757/

Base +37, Kudamaki +12, cybeast93 +21, andystevens1997 +9, alllifeinfate +6

Poor grammar:

002 - a costume-story base on -> a costume story based on
002 - setting -> setting.
002 - you doing -> you're doing
005 - What...e-even -> What's...
006 - There"re some -> There are some
006 - It's my faults -> It's my fault
006 - Explosions -> explosion
007 - that outfits? -> with that outfit?
008 - maid-outfit -> maid outfit.
009 - Commander, It's no good to have your personal Jealousy... / To influence the mission / Y'know... -> (What the fuck) -> Commander, it's no good if your jealousy / influences operations, y'know...

Others:

Absolutely inconsistent punctuation. Inconsistent and seemingly random capitalization. Nonsensical sentence structure and ordering. Terrible font, and text is randomly stretched instead of properly resized. Text is not centered and sometimes switches between centre justify and left-aligned. <3 instead of ♥.

Base +16, Kudamaki +12, cybeast93 +21, Daruna +11, cutegyaru +22, MechWarriorNY +10, that4znkid +8, Theu +6, andystevens1997 +9, funk_u_up +13, lazorboy96 +6, Derhguy443 +6, alllifeinfate +6

> edit on the phone

I'm not gonna give you any tips aside from don't edit from a phone.

You're clearly acting like a child so I'm not going to interact with you any further.

Last edited on 04 February 2023, 22:59.

Base +16, Daruna +11, as102 +13, Quartz Saint +7, Myouren +7, cutegyaru +22, MechWarriorNY +10, that4znkid +8, A.Kasuga +6, Theu +6, andystevens1997 +9, PinguPrin +7, funk_u_up +13, and 3 more...

>It was way horrible before I got help from a friend since I'm not a good English speaker or a native one, I'm still in the middle of learning Japanese too.
then translate into your native language and spare us your "hobby" "translations" if you can't speak English (and Japanese) decently ffs

Base +13, that4znkid +8, A.Kasuga +6, Teh_Red_Guy +12, lazorboy96 +6

Find a new hobby, clearly you suck at this

Base +8, Quartz Saint +7, A.Kasuga +6, andystevens1997 +9, funk_u_up +13, Teh_Red_Guy +12

I'm gonna second what Reaku67 said: either translate into a language you DO know (once you get a handle on Japanese) or don't even bother, okay? I get this being a hobby (I'd wager that's the case for most of the translators on here), but if you don't have a good grasp on the languages you're translating to/from, all you'll get is subpar results. I'll also add that E-hentai has a translation forum that I believe can help with learning how to do this; I would suggest making use of it. Anyway, another GFL book that's not gonna be picked up and get a decent translation now, unless someone commissions it.

And yeah, editing on a phone makes no sense.

Last edited on 15 February 2023, 19:23.

Base +16, Quartz Saint +7, MechWarriorNY +10, Shurikensei +10, that4znkid +8, Teh_Red_Guy +12, funk_u_up +13, lazorboy96 +6, Derhguy443 +6