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HentaiVerse

[YummySinpie] The BIG Royal Rivalry (ongoing)

Western
Posted:2022-10-25 20:59
Parent:2356620
Visible:Yes
Language:English  
File Size:107.5 MB
Length:86 pages
Favorited:387 times
Rating:
179
Average: 2.75

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Posted on 25 October 2022, 20:59 by:   YummySinpie     PM
Uploader Comment
New pages posted early on Patreon on Tuesdays and Fridays, please consider supporting the creation of more!

Find out more info about the WG Visual novel game on this public post here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/big-royal-wg-67861443

https://clk.sh/N20DpMin
https://elii.cc/degrlm
https://elii.cc/kguqt
Posted on 19 June 2021, 07:05 by:   velour     PM
Score +30
Just a small recommendation. On page 4 panel 3, the table with cakes looks very unnatural. Your use of perspective is one area I think you need more practice in, so you should focus on that going forward.
Posted on 20 June 2021, 00:03 by:   Xx360BlitzkriegxX     PM
Score +39
Looking forwards to seeing more, and watching you improve over time! Fun concept and I hope it ends up being more than 50lbs lmao
Posted on 03 July 2021, 15:34 by:   ilikessbbwandslobs     PM
Score +65
A few art tips:

Your posing is a bit awkward.
Page 12, panel 2 (or 3 depending on if the first one counts as 1 or 2 panels), for example. It kinda looks like she's throwing the food into the other girl's mouth, but it looks way too stiff.
People bend their arms when throwing things to give the object more inertia. You can buy reference figurines for pretty cheap online and there's some free software to help you get good reference poses. Heck, try taking photos of yourself and using those as reference.

Your line widths are inconsistent.
Page 12, panel 4 (or 5) shows this issue well. The jug, the liquid, the blush lines and the eyelash are all much more defined than the rest of the character's body.
Don't be afraid to draw your character again. It's a bit more effort but it will definitely make it look a lot better.

The copying and pasting issue.
Page 12, panel 2 & 3, and 6 & 7 are good examples. Copying and pasting a panel or drawing makes it look flat, like nothing is happening. Considering that this is in the middle of an intense feeding sequence, this feels awkward (especially panels 6 & 7, the eyes are a bit too far apart making the girl look a bit derpy.)
Once again, don't be afraid to draw your character again! Try different angles and perspectives to make a scene look more "dynamic."

And, as velour said, your perspective is a bit wonky at times (page 13, panel 4 looks very wonky, like the girl became a cardboard cutout)
Posted on 02 September 2022, 22:23 by:   dontwannaknow     PM
Score +14
This looks good. Sure you need more practice but I can see potential.
Posted on 15 September 2022, 02:10 by:   BattleshipGascogne     PM
Score +0
The faces look extremely smushed vertically - panel 3 of page 75 being a good example. I understand that an effort is being made to make the characters look cute, but the comic is too often veering into this weird pseudo-chibi style that distracts the reader, and diminishes the impact of emotive sequences.
Posted on 13 October 2022, 04:50 by:   SexualStalin     PM
Score -6
This is moving at the same pace as a kipteitei comic
Posted on 15 October 2022, 20:35 by:   BattleshipGascogne     PM
Score +0
I was just thinking the same thing, @Stalin. Like... is this comedy? Porn? Is someone trying to tell a... story here? What, exactly, is that story? Or are we just roving from scene to scene, sprinkling in occasional bad humor and light touching?

Yeah, I get it: she's fat (in an unshapely way because the author, despite being a fat fetishist, can't actually draw big girls), and so on pg. 83 the boat settled in the water slightly. Wow. 5 panels of THAT, please.

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