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Chinese translated by 空気系☆漢化
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Base +41, AirMaster +7, firedragon89 +14, sleazeball -5, *Meiyou* -6

This is complete gibberish, on top of very questionable editing. Some guides below to help you out (and I highly encourage you to actually learn the languages you translate to and from).

Oh, and you used the resized versions of the images. Either download the Archive, the torrent with non-resampled pages, or click Download Original on each image.

Fonts: Wild Words, CCVictorySpeech, and Spinner Rack BB are good "catch-all" starter fonts.

General: https://ouo.io/nemuu5
Typesetting: https://ouo.io/2XB3p
Redrawing: https://ouo.io/4UsnQf
Basic cleaning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PANrCwHy630

Base +15, Hurahara +20, Plallax +5, -Revan- +24, AirMaster +7, firedragon89 +14, DJ_Puchuu +15, Scumbini +42, kurzwaltz messer +7, Glovelove. +11, chad001 +7, Cressent67 +8, bagofdicks +6, and 20 more...

"Arrest master Now raise your hands !" seem like the lyrics of a song

Base +10, sleazeball +5, firedragon89 +14

is it just me or does Illya look more like Ninym from Tensai Ouji no Akaji Kokka Saiseijutsu then the Einzbern mahou shoujo we all know???

Base +11, firedragon89 +14

Another nitpick: You should always use dark text when writing on white backgrounds. Light blue / Aqua is hard to read on a white background.

Base +18, AzureTime +6, firedragon89 +14

Hey, I'm kinda surprised by the high score... Aren't we supposed to put bad reviews to REALLY BAD MTL ?

Base +10, Rango532 +6, firedragon89 +14