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(C86) [Tracklisko (Hiura R)] Rin Toshite Shigure (To LOVE-Ru) [English]

(C86) [とらっくりすこ (火浦R)] 凛トシテ時雨 (ToLOVEる-とらぶる-) [英訳]

Doujinshi
Posted:2021-11-22 20:49
Parent:None
Visible:Yes
Language:English  TR
File Size:41.76 MB
Length:36 pages
Favorited:123 times
Rating:
38
Average: 4.23

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Posted on 22 November 2021, 20:49 by:   doujinshitranslator     PM
Uploader Comment
Thanks to banditpanda
Posted on 23 November 2021, 00:40 by:   meow_pao     PM
Score +74
The translation isn't too bad, but this work is in serious need of punctuation -- especially commas -- to help make it easier to read.

For example:

P05
"As I said, this is Ritorito-kun." is easier to read than "As I say this is Ritorito kun"
"Nice body as always, Lala." is also better than simply "Nice body as always Rara"

Here are some other corrections to the next few pages, with punctuation in place (plus a few grammar corrections as well):

P05
"I made it like Rito in every detail", not "to every detail".

P06
"If it were Momo, wouldn't she let me do it whenever I want?"
"Mou~~ Ritorito-kun, that's a no!"

P07
"Didn't I say I just made him?"
"Uwah... He really looks like Rito..."
"Practice", not "practicie".
"After it is complete, should I make a Ritorito-kun for Momo too?"
"This is no joke... if they were mass-produced like that, I, the third princess, would be..."
"Be ruined", not "get ruined".

And so on.

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