Still new to this. Tried to apply the good comments from previous translation. Thanks!
Please give more advice so i can continue to improve!

Thanks for the translation!

Base +24, Ansraer +6

Raw
Chinese translated by 祈花漢化組
English translated by lamruil (You are here)

Thanks.

Base +42

Typesetting looks better than the last one and you used the full res RAWs, that's a step forward but there are still big points where you can improve.

1.) To start on a more personal note, please get rid of Manga Temple. This unpleasent font may have manga in it's name but it's just ugly.

2.) The redrawings are a bit sloppy, to say it politely. The biggest screw up I noticed whlie rushing through about half the pages is on gallery page 15 underneath the first "!" of "This is disgusting!!" where the line between the two shades of hair is severly damaged. (I don't know to phrase it better).

3.) It seems you skipped some text that looks to me like it should be translated and I don't mean just moans and screams. Examples: gallery page 13 bottom left, gallery page 16 near the bubble bottom rigt, and 3 on gallery page 23.

4.) Add punctuation. For some reasons unknown to me japanese manga don't seem to need it, but western TLs should have it.

5.) Use the original jap fonts and fontsizes as hints for font changes or where to increase or fontsize.

Base +19

thanks that's very comprehensive
i will try to improve on those points

1.) saw it on the link you gave but you are right it's bad

2.) you are completely right; redrawing in hard without a wacom table!

4.) i didn't think it was good to add it. Thanks

5.) noted

Base +6