If you know the grammar needs work, why didn't you look around for a proofreader before you uploaded this?
Anyway, here's a cleaned-up version of the first few pages. You may use these as a starting point, in case you plan to update this gallery:
P3 "Mom's having a baby", not "Mom had a baby". Present, not past tense. "Today is a day of sales", not "Today was". Again, present, not past tense.
P4 "Pleased to meet you" might be better than "Regards". "Welcome", not "You are welcome". The former is a greeting, while the latter expresses gratitude -- although it could technically be a response to his saying "Thank you".
P5 "That you need a mattress", not just "you need a mattress". "What great muscles", not "What a great muscle".
P7 "Mrs. wife" might be a better form of address than just "wife".
P8 "Mrs. wife had hard sex while she slept so soundly, thanks to the sleeping pills" is a better way of phrasing "The wife is having a hard time while she sleep so soundly, all thanks to sleep pills". "Who are you people" might be better than just "Who are you" because she's addressing several men. "We are the 'Rape Demons', disguised as business trip personal trainers", not the singular forms. "Will have a child with us demons", not just "demon".
Base +37, laptopsuc +7, PinguPrin +7, Vanilla Cream +7