Chapter 1 of Poncocchan's "My Childhood Friend is my Personal Mouth Maid" from COMIC AUN 2020-10

My 3rd solo project, constructive criticism is appreciated.

After I saw this, I couldn't not do it! It will probably be a while before I get around to the next chapter..

Update: I've added the 8 pages that were missing from the chapter gallery. I thought that ending was kind of abrupt!

Fantastic choice, Poncocchan is one of my all time favorites.

Base +15, liberius +6, FusionAJ93 +6, animefan71109 +15, sinfullkill +6, Terithius +11, Rabaa +7, Thomask +6

>Oh no the Dad is gonna NTR the son here it comes...
>>"Naw Son, enjoy your Maid Onahole"

What a bro 10/10

Base +10, Poodicus +6, intorio +14, Blaze_fire +8, dazo1 +6, MAZIGA +5, TheGoodGiggle +10, Grimz +7, FusionAJ93 +6, neo_skyline +17, Baalzack +6, Jamesbryans +9, MaouMaou +10, and 88 more...

Looks good, keep it up!

Base +26, FusionAJ93 +6, animefan71109 +15, liberius +6

p5: "there are conditions"
Aww shit...Time for dad to go NTR mode

p6: "I'm not so boorish that I would use my own son's girlfriend"
I-is this real life?

Base +6, neo_skyline +17, MaouMaou +10, HorridGuest +16, squashmonkey +5, animefan71109 +15, Bebek_War +7, SuperGenericAnon +8, jeof96 +6, Kingzorakid +6, Imuyaoi +7, Kerfirou +7, AAF +11, and 51 more...

Not using the girl himself? Based dad.

Base +6, Dante456 +7, Almighty19 +6, mista TEA +6, CX~DeribuRa +33, fap222222 +6, Zoreni +7, Tarball +13, okmonger +8, MADARA-TAKA2 +6, Forgunia +7, Kerfirou +7, Rabaa +7, and 13 more...

Based dad.

Base +8, Almighty19 +6, mista TEA +6, CX~DeribuRa +33, fap222222 +6, Tarball +13, Letto Lettosa +6, okmonger +8, MADARA-TAKA2 +6, Forgunia +7, Rabaa +7, B4k3m0n0 +11, MirLatte +5, and 6 more...

This is missing quite a lot of pages after page 22, isn't it?

Base +20, Mindflayer88 +16, HorridGuest +16

>Being a maid entails having sex with her master(s)
>Dad chooses not to fuck his son's friend

Hands down one of the best dads in hentai history, absolute bro

Base +6, CX~DeribuRa +33, Mingosei +7, Riyin +7, fap222222 +6, VitekLV +7, Fills +6, TheOrangeOne +6, Zoreni +7, Bookrat15 +6, MorallyBankrupt +6, CommunistPotato +11, Tarball +13, and 25 more...

There's 8 pages missing after page 22.

Base +6, HorridGuest +16

A few spelling mistakes here and there.
Don't be afraid to look up some manga typesetting guides.
And as pointed out by multiple people already, you're missing quite a few pages. Judging by where the pages cut off, you most likely used this http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/g/1864244/95b49f4c47/ as the source for the raws, but that gallery particular actually has missing pages.
Looking at the magazine raws and the translations in other languages, this chapter should have a lot more pages.

Base +9

Holy shit, give this man a fucking medal.
He deserves to be Father of the Year!

Base +6, TheOrangeOne +6, Letto Lettosa +6, Almighty19 +6, Forgunia +7, lycanthrope008 +7, Kerfirou +7, Firegunz +6, raifox +8, StratoSquir +6

Please

@intorio

complete this chapter.

Base +12, pesc +8

Holy shit, this dad is an absolute unicorn.

Base +6, TheOrangeOne +6, Letto Lettosa +6, Almighty19 +6, Raift +9, Forgunia +7, Kerfirou +7

Good work!

I have some small advice: Try to stay consistent with how you use punctuation.
Always use three dots when using ellipses (...) It looks better and gets the idea accross, sometimes nips use 2 dots instead of three, you can go ahead and ignore that and use 3 instead.
Same goes for punctuation, I personally limit myself to either !!!, ! or !?. Never !! or ??? (or variations of).

Also, on page http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/s/038b1a1360/1917326-8
Panel 4, when breaking up sentences like that, it looks better if you end the first sentence with a ...
You can either start the next sentence with ... or just leave it as is.

Oh, don't be afraid to make the font a bit smaller to improve reading flow.
http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/s/aaafa5e2fc/1917326-11
in panel 5, something light would read a lot better if something wasn't broken up.

Still, the typesetting looks good and the translation is on point (Also, great taste), nice work!

Base +7, justlookingforporn +6

When dad becomes your wingman

Base +6, justlookingforporn +6, Almighty19 +6, Kerfirou +7, Forgunia +7

Thank you for the translation, but I wish people would wait to translate works with full censorship until the tankouban version with minimal censoring is released. It seems no one ever updates their translation once the better version comes out, and we're just stuck with white-outs on otherwise great stories.

Base +6, opaidejavi +8, bassgs435 -6, Aelth +6

Vrigin NTR son Dad VS Chad dad, no i'm not so boorish to NTR my son.

Base +7, Kerfirou +7, Forgunia +7

What a breath of fresh air. Lets hope the dad stays that way

Base +12

Looks like there's two more~

c2: http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/g/1889210/628f03a38f/
c3: http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/g/1890051/f7cb982a66/

This dad is an absolute unicorn

Base +6

Oh wow. This not going NTR after that set up was an extremely pleasant surprise.

Base +6