Raw: http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/g/1798120/a70e91503e/
Part 1: http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/g/1829336/6924863ccf/

Update:
Fixed some grammatical errors
changed "personal client" to "patron" (I think it would fit better in this context)

Not sure why @TheGoodGiggle is making such a big deal. They're right; the grammar isn't perfect, but it's not like this is unreadable or even distracting. There are some rudimentary mistakes that need fixing, that's all.

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Not sure I would go as far as TheGoodGiggle here, these types of comments don't typically help the translators actually fix the gallery or anything. Everyone is entitled to post whatever they want of course, but yeah. BadBurger is right, most of the grammar mistakes are rudimentary. I would like to point out that in the absence of a comment actually detailing around 10 mistakes within 40 pages, the 'Poor Grammar' tag should not be applied. There are galleries that are much, much worse. You don't just get to apply the tag if you think it's bad. You have to compile the mistakes. Just an FYI to the person who tagged that. However, that being said I did go through and detail where you can fix the script up and polish the gallery.

Prostitutes start THE day early.

"...won't you agree Lili' would sound a bit better as 'wouldn't you agree, Lili?'

disregard FOR our sisters, some lines missing an "a" here or there, 'what with the' could be 'what's with the', 'girls quickly explained in short' to 'the girls quickly explained'

'how was it, you would tell a mate' - not sure what this means, specifically.

'it is a good idea to make yourself personal client first' - again, not sure what this means specifically. Probably just needs to be cleaned up a bit to clarify. Maybe you meant 'It's a good idea to find yourself a personal client first'?

'not the place for the rookie like you' would sound better as 'not the place for a rookie like you to show off'

You are mixing up your articles a little bit. Phrases like "I somehow found the customer' sound strange to native speakers. As if you found 'the customer'. She's looking just to get a single customer for the night in this case, so using 'a' instead of 'the' tends to sound better. "I somehow found a customer!' works better. It's a slight trend I've noticed throughout this book, it might be good to get this proofed by a native speaker. (If it is a native speaker whos proofing, then it's not that in every instance they're necessarily 100% wrong as much as it is that they have a strange way of speaking and writing)

'you really are someone from other world', include 'the' here. E.G "you really are someone from the other world" or even 'you really are someone from another world!'

As I mentioned earlier, here's another article mixup. "I have to stop her from talking in the prostitute-like way' sounds better with 'a' instead of 'the'. E.G "I have to stop her from talking in a prostitute-like way!' or "I have to stop her from talking in my prostitute-like way!' or even "I have to stop her from talking using my prostitute skills!'

"She's holding special feeling for the princess" Your proofer/TL has an issue with plural nouns as well, typical mistake. It's no big issue, but its good to be aware of it because these are simple and easy fixes for the future. "She's holding special feelINGS for the princess"

Indecend to Indecent

'Prostitutes start day early' to 'Prostitutes start the day early"

"What does it mean you came to the brothel without money?" makes her sound like shes asking a question rather than making a declaration. She wanted her to be her personal client, so it's more likely, following the narrative, that she's trying to say "What DO you mean you came to the brothel without money?! You want me to go into debt?!"

Anyways, I really hope that helps! Been following this story since the first gallery (and I don't remember it having many issues at all) and I really enjoy it. As soon as I saw the cover I got really excited! Thanks for putting out this series for us. Like I said, I hope the criticism comes off constructive (it's supposed to be, at least) and helps you clean the gallery up. It'll sound and flow a lot nicer with just a few very basic fixes here and there.

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@kitsuneH
Shut the fuck up, you entitled little bitch. Do you know how many fucking TS/GB works there are where a guy randomly becomes a girl and immediately gets raped and turned into a cock slave because that's "what women's bodies are programmed to do." It's frankly astonishing how most TG stuff is just hetero with extra steps.

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Ah, the classic interrogation by exploiting their feelings, but with a sprinkle of yuri, gb, and isekai altogether.
It is kind of short though...

Base +3

馴染み客 - intimate client, or maybe would be better as exclusive customer

@aleden already pointed out many things you can improve.

Base +8

Thanks for pointing out my mistakes @aleden. I'm currently fixing the pages and I'll update the gallery probably today or tomorrow. As for "personal client" thing, 馴染み客 in this context means "client who frequently visits the same prostitute​". I went for "personal" but maybe the "intimate" would sound better, but as I'm thinking about it now, maybe even in this context translating it as "patron" would fit the best?
Unfortunately I don't know any native speakers who could do the proof reading. I tried using some automatic grammar checkers but they aren't the best. I started doing translations mainly because I wanted to improve my japanese and english, but unfortunately I don't have much experience in actually writing something. Hopefully my mistakes aren't bad to the point that it's hard to understand, I'm sorry if they're bothering some people too much.
I translated it, because nobody took it before for quite some time, and I think it's better than nothing at all.
In the meantime, I'll try to check everything again, does anyone see any more errors to be fixed?

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Your type setting is really good, keep going strong and take advice.

Base +8

@フラカノ
No, absolutely -- learning JP and ENG this way is a surefire way to improve very fast and learn on your mistakes and so on. I personally was hooked (as I mentioned, hehe) on this series since the first one, so it's no issue for me. Keep putting this stuff out! You want to learn and improve both languages, the audience wants to read these works, it's a win win. Unlike many others on here, you are genuinely looking to keep improving each release. Ignore the one person (their comment got voted down anyways) who went crazy with the complaints, normally you don't get that kind of stuff and most people don't go that far anyways. If you make mistakes in the future, that's no problem whatsoever, the community is always willing to help. And with each release, you build on the one beforehand! Eventually, you'll be an expert at both JP and ENG and your galleries will be some of the most beloved on EX. You would be surprised how many currently top-tier uploaders on here started that way. With terrible typesetting, or horrible translations, but they kept going and are super good now. You can get there too with that growth mindset you have! And I'm looking forward to this series as well.

Either way, good stuff. Hell, just by fixing the mistakes you're putting more effort than 99% of people who just chuck uploads and leave!

EDIT: Absolutely amazing job. Reads incredibly clear and flows nicely. All the fixes were great -- and it didn't take too much either for it to look super nice. Definitely don't let the other comments which thankfully all got nuked get you down, those people just criticize without offering any solutions and overstate the problem. The first guy acted like it was the worst gallery ever, when really, it was a few super super easily fixed mistakes.

For anyone reading in the future with good mod power, please downvote misc:poor grammar. It no longer applies to this gallery. Thank you!

Last edited on 16 March 2021, 07:55.

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As a GB comic, I LOVE the forced possession isekai angle.
But I kinda HATED the "everyone hates you because they insist you're somebody you're not" angle, in the first chapter.

This one's different, tho. I really dig it!

Base +12

@Amuro1X
Wel llike it should be, a straight guy being changed into a female should be straight for guys too by also having his brain structure changed according to body.
Him being now into girls as female is just very very very cheap excuse to self-insert guys into yuri situation in reality only cause author of such works actually dislikes yuri where it's just between two females only and needs a guy in it for him to work, nothing more nothing less, just a very shitty homophobic approach from author side.
So stop crying "you entitled little bitch" like you posted.

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How long is this series? Is it complete and just looking for translation?

Base +6

This series is pretty nice, thanks for the translation.

Base +7

ThANKS A BUNCH

Base +6

shut up im fapping

Base +6