Onee san?! Shounen?! Hell yeah!

I almost missed this because at the time it was in first page, no english was tagged in the gallery name. Don't be a desudesu, don't forget to add the [English], :D

...how dare she, denying us some sweaty cunnilingus pages, damn it!

Now, what did she mean on the last page? I want to know too. I guess I'm an idiot too...:D

Thanks for translating.

Base +29, leloulouchifcation +7, raifox +7, Iam Angry +6, Fariette +6, impendio +6, DoctorGhostpants +6

This is how i hope oneesan and shounen relationship ends up.

Base +6, Darknessend +6, war15 +8, DreadPool +6, xanon42 +6, impendio +6, Doafw +7

The next time you are working with dirty raws, try following this:
https://viid.me/9MeVs

Base +8, VodkaAllDay +8, MarvN +10, BaconBuddha +6, sitkc +5, Darknessend +6, impendio -6, as102 +10

This is a mess. lol
Cover she has ring on her Left ring finger.
p.11 1 ring on her Right ring finger.
p.20 looks like she has ring on her Right middle finger and Right ring finger. But then where is the Right middle finger ring in p.11?
p.24 now only her Right middle finger has ring on.
p.25 both ring on her Right hand gone. what?
p.26 top panel, no ring on her Left hand. Bottom panel ring on her Left middle finger...
p.29 ring on her Right middle finger.

Make up your mind author... or author didn't know left or right...?

Base +8, Shurikensei +9, BaconBuddha +6, aurst +7, Darknessend +6, Haruka Aiphos +5, impendio -6, Hawlc +6, RefinedFapper +6, as102 +10

Think this is related to a couple older works. http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/g/1305498/8ddf3f69e2/ and http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/g/1436170/df72552cf1/
The girl's name's been translated differently every time, but it seems to consistently be the same on the untranslated ones. For example http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/s/c5ddb47f17/1306403-4 http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/s/d29e1e0820/1543998-34 and http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/s/66c1a889e0/1418534-3

Base +6, Darknessend +6, impendio +6, DoctorGhostpants +6, Hawlc +6, RefinedFapper +6

Passionate loving with your girl on a hot day makes for sexy and steamy relationship...
love all of Akagi Asahito's pieces
Thanks for sharing of more great C97

Last edited on 26 January 2020, 04:34.

Base +31, Bulopu -16, GenaroG +6, Darknessend +6, impendio +6, Hawlc +6

And this female character name is a mess too her japanese name is 不破 良香 Fuwa Yoshika (google) Fuwa Haruka (bing)

first chapter it was Mika (mistaken by translator), 2nd chapter it is Yoshika, now 3th chapter by another translator it is Rika... so what is this female character name?!?
LOL

Base +8, Darknessend +6, Fariette +6, xanon42 +6, impendio -6, DoctorGhostpants +6

it's Yoshika. I was expecting Ryouka since her name is supposed to be Fu + Ryou (不良). But maybe the author thought it would be a bit much.
http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/s/db56b1aef6/1414096-5
would be nice if uploader can fix it.

Also, very minor, but タバコ generally should be translated as "cigarettes". It's just one of those things.

Last edited on 26 January 2020, 18:53.

Base +8, Bulopu +16, sitkc +5, Darknessend +6, Pr1de +16, Hamjameter +6, impendio -6, RefinedFapper +6

Shounen, chotto sabotteko final canon ending --> *LEAKED*

Base +7, petnavi +8, Poser27 +6, Darknessend +6, wefwq999 +6, Iam Angry +6, war15 +8, DreadPool +6, qwiql +6, namtaru +6, impendio +6

Overall:
- Raw quality is bad. No levelling was done. It's like a dirty phone screen with smudges everywhere.
- Bleed-through effect is everywhere.
- The cut book spine is evident and not cleaned.
- Pages aren't even levelled. The pages are so grey that you can see the white, manual cleaning of the bubbles.
- No end of sentence punctuation for ~80% of sentences.
- No proper use of capital case for ~30% of sentences.
- Ellipses are inconsistent and pasted onto pages.
- Spoken gasps and moans within bubbles are untranslated.
- Repeatedly used lowercase "I" for the personal pronoun. (Probably because the main prose font is terrible.)
- No hand-written moans are translated.
- A curled lowercase font is used for spoken text and an all-caps comic font is used for thoughts for some reason.

Page 2:
"L-Lewd onee san?!"
- Should have a hyphen between "onee" and "san" to indicate that it's a suffix.
"Hell yeah !! Give me more of it !!!"
- Shouldn't have a space before the exclamation marks. This is inconsistent with the previous line.

Page 4:
"We used too many ice packs"
- No punctuation at the end of the sentence.
"Because the aircon isn't working..."
- The ellipsis here is minuscule and inconsistent with the others on the page. The symbol, along with the script, was most likely pasted from something like MS Word. (So we shouldn't expect to see spelling errors. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

Page 5:
"When // Will they come to fix it?"
- Both are a part of the same sentence and bubble so "will" should start with a lowercase "w".
"Friday... // ...then, we'll have to endure it till the weekend huh"
- Both of these lines are spoken by 2 different characters so "then" shouldn't start with a lowercase letter.
- No end of sentence punctuation.
- No comma before question tag, "huh".
"Plus, you don't have the energy to go out"
- No end of sentence punctuation.
"Hey // You smell like sweat"
- Same bubble and sentence. "You" shouldn't start with a capital letter.
- No end of sentence punctuation.
"SMELLS"
- No end of sentence punctuation.
"But I love it"
- No end of sentence punctuation.
"It's the smell of you"
- No end of sentence punctuation.

Page 6:
"plus a hint of tabacco // And body cream"
- "Tobacco" is misspelt as "tabacco".
- "And" is a part of the same sentence and there is no end of sentence punctuation, so it should start with a lowercase letter.
"P... // Pierce hole..."
- This sounds and out of context. GTL-sensei, is that you?
"...If you make that reaction again // I'mma snap you into half"
- The ellipsis has been pasted again.
- There is no comma after "again".
- No end of sentence punctuation.
- "Into" is the incorrect preposition for phrasal verb "snap [object] in half".
"Lately I haven't been maintaining myself... // That's why i smell!"
- No comma after "lately".
- "I" is lowercase even though it's the personal pronoun. It should be capitalized.
"I knew you were gonna say that so i went ahead and did it!"
- "I" is lowercase again.
"It's good to sweat it out once in awhile, you know?"
- "Awhile" is an adverb and "a while" is a noun. You're using "awhile" incorrectly.

Page 7:
"Ne~"
- "Ne" is gibberish in English. Not even weeb-speak.
"...shut up // Just get off of..."
- No capital case for the start of the sentence.
- No punctuation at the end of the sentence.

Page 8:
"Stop getting turned on while smelling me you ass"
- No comma before "you".
"Can i?"
- Lowercase "I".
"It tastes like you Rika-chan"
- Missing comma before "Rika-chan".
"You dis-... // -gusting<3"
- Incorrectly using two hyphens.
- Needs verb, "are", between "you" and adjective, "disgusting".

Page 9:
"っ...<3"
- Glottal stop, "tsu", was left in the bubbles.
"It's so slippery since you're much sweaty than usual"
- Adjective, "sweaty", is used instead of comparative, "sweatier".
"emba- rrassing"
- Hyphen isn't used at the end of the second syllable. It should be "embar- rassing".
"Genetically people who love the smell of their lover has a higher love compatibility"
- No comma after "genetically".
- Present simple tense is incorrect. Should be using "have", not "has".
"Even so, don't lick my armpit... it's kinda hentai-ish..."
- "Hentai-ish" was used instead of "perverted". The fact that this is "a hentai" and her statement have no correlation.

Page 13:
"Rika chan // You're so wet even your panties are soaked, through"
- No hyphen used for the suffix in this bubble.
- No comma after "wet".
- Comma shouldn't be after "through".
- No proper sentence-case punctuation.

Page 14:
"L- // Let's leaving cunnilings aside"
- Uh, yeah, I'd like to purchase one cunnilings. "Cunnilingus" is misspelt as "cunnilings".
- Present continuous tense is used when it should be present simple.

Page 15:
"Baka"
- Fun fact, "baka" means "idiot".

tl;dr:
Not going to go through the rest. No tl;dr this time.

Base +1, dankestdungeon +17, Marz +6, IrrelevantAlex +6, sitkc +5, BaconBuddha +6, aurst +7, Infigar +6, CharlotteFrancia +6, Darknessend +6, HorstDetlef +10, limd +10, bigscuba +4, and 24 more...

Top panel on page 7:
"Perhaps it's because of the head,..." probably should be HEAT.

Base +10, Darknessend +6, dankestdungeon +17, itachixmaster +8

Garbage grammar and a dumb font choice? Sasuga, ESL-kun.

Base +7, Iam Angry -6, dankestdungeon +17, xanon42 -6, aObina +6, Hamjameter +6, impendio -6, Hawlc +6, smt nocturne +20

You might want someone to proofread in the future. In the end it was still readable and that's better then nothing. I've seen way worse. Appreciate the time and effort.

Base +6, Iam Angry +6, dankestdungeon -17, exia45 +6, xanon42 +6, alexverge +10, impendio -6, Ass Spanker -23, Hawlc -6, RefinedFapper -6

@xnumbers Squiggles translates Shounen Chotto Sabatteko by the same author, and there is a proofreader/typesetter working with them on that. Shounen is something Squiggles likes to keep in the translation though.

Base +7, impendio +6