Great doujinshi deserving a legible translation. Based on Neraka Translations work with multiple references to the raw. This is the first time I've done anything like this, so criticism is appreciated.

Base translation that was used: http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/g/1414325/9b85c2257f/
Raw: http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/g/1379600/4e163afe08/

The typesetting of the first translation is much nicer. But this translation reads a bit easier. Thanks for sharing this.

Base +38, Megaton +42, Lostalgia +8, pkplat +9, Universal_Lover +6, Senor Pwnage +7

as a manga translator , the translation is better but not perfect could use some more work.
and sentence between line also could use some more work , when we translate manga we have to deliver the expression and emotion of character to the reader.
well all of this is just suggestion anyway , at least you work hard translating this so :v there's a spot where you can improve but keep up the good work

Base +6, Lostalgia +8, tenrou29 -8, tc_hold +9, boom22 -7, Senor Pwnage +7

>Yandere
>Onee-chan

All aboard the wincest train.

Base +6

Yeah, there is definitely a lot that can be improved with this and I'm actually intending on doing just that in the near future. There were a couple of lines that don't emote super well and there were some typos, specifically with the promise Hiroto made to Rin being referred to as 'one day' even though it's also referred to as 'the entire weekend', but that stuff is mostly because this was done in one sitting immediately after I read this doujin and realized how big of a crime it was that Neraka Translations put out something that read so poorly in a lot of places with some big glaring issues. I'll be taking a closer look at the raw since the original translation wasn't particularly the most reliable to begin with... Since I did this much, I might as well refine it into the best possible thing that I can.

I will be reading any comments that get left here when I touch this again, so please do leave a suggestion if you think I could do something differently to make this wonderful piece work better in english.

Base +2, Senor Pwnage +7

So the osananajimi loses again...

Base +7