my attempted to translate the doujin, probably still have some grammar here and there
raw: http://e-hentai.fbk.tokyo/index/g/1068728/b4186c44bd/

Please get an editor

Base +6, MrSquigglesIAm -4

@nisashi13
Yeah, you're right. You still do have some grammar here and there. But isn't that the issue here?

Base +10, MrSquigglesIAm -4, Behemut +5

@jwym
Eng and Jap are not my main language but i want to translate the doujin because sometime the one i want to know what going on either take forever to translate or never at all.
so until someone actually know what they doing, i want to give it a go.

Base +7, MrSquigglesIAm +4

I think typeseter-kun just don't have enough [exp]. Once he's gained enough [exp] he'll have more grammar!

Or, y'know, something like that. This is actually fairly good as far as questionable english doujins go, imo; the typesetting's perfectly serviceable, which is often not that case with these things, and it's still...readable? And I definitely appreciate it when people put in the effort to get an initial version out even when the language's a bit out of their comfort zone. It's not perfect, and running a script by someone prior to posting would definitely help, but all in all 's not bad.

Base +20, SanaeKochiya +6, rockingoldensamurai +6, MrSquigglesIAm +4